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Vital Farms

Hash Browns

Melissa makes homemade hash browns for the (very) first time, but they are not (at all) crispy, so Melissa tops them with bacon and eggs, so no one gives a shit about her mushy-ass hash browns.
Hash Browns

Egg Bake Food Nest

Make an egg base of several eggs, some plant based milk, and maybe like some cinnamon, or something; eat approximately one third of your sourdough boule (it was totally a boule), by just gnawing on it like a lion to prey (I did not do that) ((technically)), then cut...
Egg Bake Food Nest

14 Grapes

I'm not allowed more than 14 grapes. ((I don't really count my food like that; please don't get an eating disorder because of my dumb jokes.))
14 Grapes

Pescatarian Breakfast

Whole Foods cooked me some shrimp (not true at all; I bought it from their display case, like everyone else), so I tossed them in a sautéed spinach salad. They also made me a crab cake (technically), which I put in to an omelette...
Pescatarian Breakfast