First of all, I want to say: I don’t know how to make (a) pizza.

What I do know how to do, is read, and get shit done; so I went to the store, and checked the ingredients of every pizza I thought had a chance of being made without sugar (or high fructose corn syrup — or some other bullshit), and to my absolute (!) delight, I found American Flatbread Products’ Sliced Tomato & 5 Cheese Pizza — which only has a few ingredients, and none of them are bullshit.

So, I bought it, brought it home, and added some olives before baking (because: yum).

Then, once it was done, I added more cheese (because: cheese), and microgreens (because: eat a vegetable).

Does this make me a genius?

No.

Does this make me a pizza?

Yes!

(This one has an imperfect crust — but that’s not going to stop me from posting it. Progress not perfection: pizza edition.)

(Also, for those of you who just can’t stand not knowing: crust is wheat, water, salt, and yeast; toppings are tomatoes, cheese, oil, salt, and spices; it’s 570 calories for the whole thing — and yes; yes I did.)

((Update: The link shows 340 calories per serving, and three servings per flatbread, but the nutrition facts on the box say 190 per serving. I know other versions of this flatbread have more calories (and more ingredients), and I believe it to be a website error, but I believe wrong things all the time, so… you decide.))

Protein: Cheese

Veggie: Microgreens

Carb: Pizza Crust, Tomatoes, Olives

+ This meal is refined sugar free, and sugar substitute free, to the best of my knowledge.